Lex Libertas

Last summer, I spent five weeks traveling around the Caucasus. One week of that trip was in Georgia. A full travelogue is in the works, but I wanted to capitalize on the news surrounding the recent arrival of American ships in Batumi. The capital of Adjaria (a former break-away province like South Ossetia and Abkhazia), Batumi is a resort city on the Black Sea coast of Georgia. I spent several days both in the city, and traveling around the countryside of Adjaria, and it is stunningly beautiful. Tropical plants and lots of water to swim in, everywhere.

I have an album of pictures set up on locally on Lex Libertas, on Facebook, and on Picasa.

Here are some of my favorities:

Adjaria has some of the most beautiful terrain on Earth

Park at night in the resort town of Batumi, Georgia.

Dolphin chilling in the resort town of Batumi, Georgia.

Adjarian and Georgian flags, interspersed

I love Adjaria!! You can go swimming and eat in the same restaurant in the jungle!

Restaurant in Batumi, Adjaria, Georgia

Shockingly, and inexplicably, Moscow didn’t make it into the new international version of Monopoly. Kiev, Riga, and Belgrade made the cut:

Hasbro held a contest earlier in the year:

The most valuable real estate will be on blue spots, for instance (normally occupied by Broadway and Park Place), and then green, yellow and so on. There is currently a vote going on that is open to anyone in the world with a computer, and you can vote once a day for up to ten cities. The top vote getters will be on Broadway and Park Place, and the rest will be apportioned to the remainder of the real estate.

According to the woman at Hasbro I spoke to, the website where the voting is going on–www.monopoly.com–is getting 10,000 votes a day. That’s not all that much. A concerted web effort can turn this around.

So, the whole thing was determined by voting. How did the Russian livejournal community not get a hold of this and flood it? I would have expected to see Moscow, St. Petersburg, Sochi, and maybe even a few others on the final version. ЖЖ, you have let me and your country down! I’d say the same about America, but our web presence is far more disjointed, and, truth be told, we don’t have the same sort of nationalistic fervor that the Russian net can at times have.

Instead, we have an absurdly high representation by smaller Eastern European cities. I mean Gdynia? Really? At first I thought that was an alternative spelling of Gdansk? How did all these cities get on, but not Prague? This is truly a bizarre outcome.

From RIA-Novosti:

Tom Clancy, author of the Hunt for Red October and a host of other military themed thrillers, predicted the South Ossetian conflict seven years ago. His story, describing Russia coming to the rescue of the South Ossetians and sending tanks into Georgia, was used in a computer game.

Check out the RIA-Novosti story, Tom Clancy predicted the South Ossetian conflict, to see the news report. I couldn’t rip the movie, and they don’t give an embed link. Get with the times Russian Information Agency-News!!! Kommersant allows you to embed, they understand the power of JJ (LiveJournal in Russian is JJ, Zhivoi Zhurnal). Oh, the virtues of capitalism.

The Times held a competition where people sent in their favorite communist jokes, and here’s their top ten:

A copy of Hammer and Tickle will shortly be winging its way to Tom Freeman for the following offering:

1) Three workers find themselves locked up, and they ask each other what they’re in for. The first man says: “I was always ten minutes late to work, so I was accused of sabotage.” The second man says: “I was always ten minutes early to work, so I was accused of espionage.” The third man says: “I always got to work on time, so I was accused of having a Western watch.”

And here are the nine runners-up:

2) An old man is dying in his hovel on the steppes.
There is a menacing banging on the door.
‘Whose there?’ the old man asks.
‘Death ‘comes the reply.
‘Thank God for that,’ he says, ‘I thought it was the KGB.’

Dan Sweeney

3)Pravda announced that it welcomed letters to the editor. All correspondents were required to include their full name, address and next of kin.
Neil

4) Q. “Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?” A. “One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.”
Lee Jakeman

5) Leonid Brezhnev pays a state visit to France and he’s given a VIP guided tour of Paris. He’s conducted round the splendours of the Élysée Palace, but remains as stony-faced as ever. He’s shown the masterpieces of the Louvre, but the curators fail to get any reaction out of him. He’s taken to the Arc de Triomphe, but displays not the slightest interest. Eventually, the official motorcade drives him to the foot of the Eiffel Tower, where Brezhnev finally stares up in amazement and astonishment. He turns to his French hosts and asks in bewilderment: “But, Paris is a city of 9 million people… surely you need more than one watchtower?”
(first heard by me in the Brezhnev era)
Geraint Jennings

6) Stalin decides to go out one day and see what it’s really like for the workers, so he puts on a disguise and sneaks out of the Kremlin.
After a while he wanders into a cinema. When the film has finished, the Soviet Anthem plays and a huge picture of Stalin appears on the screen. Everyone stands up and begins singing, except Stalin, who smugly remains seated.
A minute later a man behind him leans forwards and whispers in his ear: “Listen Comrade, we all feel exactly the same way you do, but trust me, it’s a lot safer if you just stand up.”
Robert B

7) A man saves up his ruples and is finally able to buy a car in Soviet Russia. After he pays his money the he is told he will have his car in three years.
“Three years!” he asks “What month?”
“August”
“August? What day in August?” He asks
“The Second of August” is the reply
“Morning or Afternoon?”
“Afternoon. Why do you need to know?”
“The plumber is coming in the morning.”
Mark

Why do ex-Stasi officers make the best Berlin taxi drivers?
Because you only need to tell them your name and they’ll already know where you live!
Will

9) Moscow in the 1970s. Deepest winter. A rumour spreads through the city that meat will be available for sale the next day at Butcher’s Shop no. 1.

Tens of thousands turn up on the eve of the event: wrapped up against the cold, carrying stools, vodka, and chessboards, they form an orderly queue.

At 3 am the butcher comes out and says, “Comrades, I’ve just had a call from the Party Central Committee: it turns out there won’t be enough meat for everyone, so the Jews in the queue should go home.”

The Jews obediently leave the queue. The rest continue to wait.

At 7 am, the butcher comes out again: “Comrades, I’ve just had another call from Central Committee. It turns out there will be no meat at all, so you should all go home.”

The crowd disperses, grumbling all the while: “Those bloody Jews get all the luck!”

Andrew Vornic/Julian Cox

10) A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book.
The KGB says “What are you reading old man?” The old man says “I am trying to teach myself Hebrew.”
KGB says “Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done.”
“I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to Heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven.” the old man replies.
“But what if when you die you go to Hell?” asks KGB.
And the old man replies, “Russian, I already know.”

Larry Rasczak

In response, a friend sent me one of his favorite communist jokes:

Three men are talking at night in their barracks in a Siberian forced labor camp. By way of introduction, one man says, “I got 20 years for publishing samizdat, that’s why I’m here.” The second man says, “I got caught listening to BBC, that’s why I got 15 years. How about you ?”
– he asks the third man. The third man replies, “I got 10 years, for absolutely nothing !”. The first man then hits him in the face. “Liar ! For nothing, they only give you 5 years !”.