Iran, John McCain, and the ‘Great Satan’
A theoretical conversation in Tehran about the US presidential candidates:
General Jafari: “Supreme Leader, I have met with their agents in the Green Zone and they are indeed weaklings. We are ready, armed with state of the art weaponry – we are also armed with faith. The IRGC is capable of firing thousands of missiles and rockets within minutes of your order, and with our newly acquired Russian ‘Sizzler’ anti-ship missiles we can annihilate the U.S. 5th fleet as the Great Satan’s own war games confirm. The Great Satan will pluck their survivors from the sea and flee again in its helicopters as in Vietnam, Lebanon, and Somalia…”
Supreme Leader: “Yes, soon enough, but for now we wait - until our nuclear arsenal and ballistic missiles are ready. Time is on our side. When Bush is gone, the Great Satan will flee before our might. Mark my word, when either the one called Obama or the Clinton woman replaces Bush, the Great Satan will run away.”
Minister Mottaki: “Are we forgetting the one they call McCain who spent five years in a North Vietnamese cage, the one who will stand against us like the great Reagan did in 1980?”
Supreme Leader: “Of course not, leave this to me. Have patience. I have issued a statement to IAEA Director General Mohamed El Baradei that the Islamic Republic of Iran is, based on Islamic Sharia law, opposed to the production and use of nuclear weapons. That, along with CIA’s new National Intelligence Estimate, should buy us the time we need. But pray the one they call McCain is not elected. We do not need another Reagan!”
You should let whomever wrote this article know that it has been done before, and it was much, much better. Tell them that if they’re going to make things up, they might as well be creative about it.
Comment by Bugmaster — March 4, 2008 @ 7:02 pm
Different mediums, different issues, different centuries, different millennium. Bug, you have to stop living in the past.
Comment by Owen — March 4, 2008 @ 9:11 pm
True art transcends time, and true talent transcends medium. Just because something is new, doesn’t mean it’s better — otherwise, you’d be voting for Obama, wouldn’t you ?
Comment by Bugmaster — March 4, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
Such beautiful, empty phrases. Are you auditioning to be an Obama speech writer?
Comment by Owen — March 5, 2008 @ 11:02 am
Nah, it’s just hard for me to take bad writing — such as the article you quoted — seriously, so instead, I try to out-gravitas it, so to speak. Looks like I’ve succeeded.
But if you, for some reason, are really taking that article seriously (which I doubt, but who knows), then I can post a detailed analysis of everything that’s wrong with it (from my perspective). Let me know…
Comment by Bugmaster — March 5, 2008 @ 12:01 pm
So, empty words now count as gravitas? The article makes a very legitimate point, that if you’re an enemy of America, you’d probably prefer Obama or Hillary to McCain.
Comment by Owen — March 5, 2008 @ 12:31 pm
check out this post on John McCain\’s Running Mate http://dirtyelection.com/colin-powell-as-john-mccains-running-mate/mccain/
Comment by John McCain Running Mate — August 26, 2008 @ 3:10 pm