Lex Libertas

In response to my post about all the fake 20’s circulating out there, CaptainLoozer commented:

You are an idiot.

So I’ve heard.

No one is going to send you any twenty dollar bills.

If they did, I would invest it in an account and let it sit until that person’s retirement, when I would give it back plus interest. I figure that it would do more good invested than back in their pocket.

Even if it was fake,

So you actually thought my post was serious.

I would still keep it because if supposedly if everyone thinks the “governmet” is making is making these I could still spend it.

I must admit, that’s a rather decent point. Too bad it’s still only a ratio of 1 intelligent sentence to 5 of drivel.

You are a cheap piece of crap.

Did my girlfriend put you up to that?

Get a job,

Got one, research on crime control policies.

a life,

Like yours? That includes spending hours on the net trolling on other people’s sites.

and a brain you idiot.

Auditioning for the role of Dr. Frankenstein are we?

Learn how to make a better web site while you are at it.

I really didn’t want my commentary to devolve into an exchange of insults, but I simply must direct my readers to view your magnificent page.

I feel like I’ve been transported back to 1997 - with chintzy wallpaper, 8bit text, jumpy animated gifs, and one dimensional midi soundtracks.

(Oddly soothing, though slightly metalic, female voice)
We here at Lex Libertas appreciate your input, and understand that you have many options when it comes to choosing your web commentary. Thank you, and please come again.

I am starting to fell that I may not get out of town in time.

I leave for Russia in a week, and at this rate Simi Valley will have been consumed by the ocean. First, as most people in America know, Simi has been consumed by flames. Now, three earthquakes hit in one day.

At 8:30 this morning a 2.8 quake hit. It was enough to daze me a bit, and I ran for the door frame of my office. It wasn’t too bad, but enough to get my heart pumping and some adrenaline flowing.

Then, at 10:30, a small 1.7 rumbled. After ten years in California, this type of minor disturbance goes unnoticed.

Later still, at 3:45, a 3.6 shook my house. This one got my attention. I was in the living room, and close enough that I ran for the door.

I lived through the ‘94 quake, my house was a mile from the epicenter, and it made a lasting impression. Now it appears that since the Northridge quake didn’t get me, Simi’s trying. The first quake was centered 0km NNE of Simi, the second 2km ESE of Simi, and the third 1km WNW of Simi. I don’t think I want to stick around for the South of Simi quake.

An organisation in Israel has gained rabbinical approval to train pigs to guard Jewish settlements in the West Bank.

“The pigs will also be able to identify weapons from huge distances, and walk in the direction of the terrorist, thereby pointing him out.

And now for the best part:

“Moreover, this animal is considered to be dangerous by Islam and, according to the Muslim faith, a terrorist who touches a pig is not eligible for the 70 virgins in heaven.”

Now for some discussion on the finer theological points of terror. If a suicde bomber goes into a cafe where one serves bacon, and blows himself (or herself) up, what happens if a body part touches said bacon, or bacon grease? Does this disqualify them from the 70 virgins? Or since it was ex post, does it not disqualify? Does bacon grease count? What about Spam?

I intend to start a talmud-like discussion in the comments section, and I need the opinions of many sages wiser than I.

I drive by this sign everyday on the way home from work.

Galactic Empire to Take Over Power in Iraq

Washington D.C. - At a press conference yesterday, White House spokesman Scott McClellan announced that all political and military authority in Iraq would be handed over to the Galactic Empire, starting October 1, 2003.

As a point of fact, the Galactic Empire is a well-suited candidate for the job. “They have had eons of experience in bringing control to lawless planets and crushing huge armies of insurgents,” says Empire specialist Jeb van Dale of the Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. “And, unlike the U.S., they simply have the manpower to pull this off”. The Empire can deploy up to two million stormtroopers in Iraq by the end of the week, bringing welcome relief to the exhausted U.S. garrisons tasked with maintaining control of the country.

Lord Vader is planning on using the power of the Force to locate Saddam Hussein and have him captured. “We are going to carbon-freeze him and put him up on display in the center of Baghdad. This will deal a crushing blow to the morale of his underlings.”

Which OS are You?

I don’t know much about OS’s, especially of the Mac variety, but the flavor text seems to fit within acceptable parameters.

My hometown of Simi Valley is engulfed in smoke and ash, and surrounded by fire. It appears as though all of Southern California is on fire. I’ve been away all weekend, so I haven’t had a chance to personally see the flames, but I have it on good word that ash is falling like snow and the heat is oppressive. I’m in Torrance, about 50 miles away, and the smoke has covered the sky down here, leaving the sun to filter through an eerie yellow twilight at 10 in the morning.

Driving up by the airport, I felt as if I were in some post-apocalyptic Los Angeles. It wasn’t a stretch to envision flames on the mountains from a nuclear inferno, overturned cars on the freeway, and bands of armed people wandering the streets. Oh wait, that’s a normal day in L.A.

It reminds me of some great commentary from Futurama:

Fry: So you’re saying these aren’t the decaying ruins of New New York in the year 4000?
Farnsworth: You wish! You’re in Los Angeles.
Fry: But there was this gang of ten year olds with guns!
Leela: Exactly, you’re in LA.
Fry: But everyone is driving around in cars shooting at each other!
Bender: That’s LA for ya!
Fry: But the air is green and there is no sign of civilization what so ever!
Bender: He just won’t stop with the social commentary…
Fry: And the people are all phonies, no-one reads, everything has cilantro on it…

Tomorrow, the weather in my hometown of Simi Valley, California, is supposed to hit 102F, yesterday it was 103F. The high tomorrow in St. Petersburg, Russia, where I’ll be living in less than two weeks, is 32F. That’s a 70 degree difference, and the warmest sweater I own will offer about as much protection as an undershirt. The plus side is that with weather that cold, at least it will snow, not rain. Look at me, ever the optimist.

I plan on starting a separate blog for recounting my travels when I leave. I’d like to keep this one political, and have the other one to show off what a bad decision I made, and post Dostoevsky-like, depressing stream-of-conciousness entries. I just need a name for it …

This past Saturday, I was lucky enough to attend an awards ceremony put on by CIMA (Catholics In Media Associates), a group that honors TV shows and movies that put forth good messages. This year they selected “American Dreams” as the show, and “Seabiscuit” as the movie. In addition, they presented Ricardo Montalban with a lifetime achievement award.

American Dreams was honored because it demonstrates how change needn’t be done on an epic level, by people in positions of power, but through individuals, making personal decisions on how to live their own lives. It also relates the central importance of the family. Seabiscut was selected as the story of three broken men who healed each other. And Ricardo Montalban because of his tireless dedication to his faith (Catholicism) and his countless charitable activities.

Some of the memorable quotes:

The MC, when introducing American Dreams dispelled some of the possible criticism about that show’s selection: “Some have said, of course you’d honor American Dreams, it’s a show about Catholics. That’s not true, we’ve never honored the Sopranos.”

The writer and creator of American Dreams sumed up his inspiration for the show - “My agent told me to write about what I know. So obviously, having grown up as a Jewish kid in Beverly Hills, I wrote about a Catholic family in Philidelphia.”

Gary Stevens, the jockey who played George Woolf, spoke about his involvement in the film. When the MC described his background, I had no idea that he was such an accomplished jockey:

-Through 2002, has had 4,691 wins and has won $206,293,634 in purses. He has won 28 races with purses of $1 million or more.
-Through 2003, has eight Triple Crown victories.
-In 1993, became the youngest jockey to surpass $100 million dollars in purse earnings.
-He won the Eclipse Award as the nation’s top jockey in 1998 and awarded George Woolf Memorial Jockey Award in 1996
-Was inducted into the Racing Hall of Fame in 1997 at the age of 34, the second youngest jockey to be voted in.

Apparently, the character he played, George Woolf, is considered the greatest jockey in the sports history.

Gary related his introduction to the movie: When the producers approched him about playing George in the film, he had just finished a race where he got second, and was in a rather foul mood. After a short discussion, Gary told the producers, “‘I don’t have enough time, and you don’t have enough money.’ I was wrong on both points.”

Ricardo Montalban, you might know him (like I do) as Khan from Star Trek II, or Spy Kids, The Naked Gun, Fantasy Island, and countless others. The man has had a ridiculously succesful and long career. I was amazed at how natural and charismatic he was on stage, one of the best public speakers I’ve ever seen. One of his funniest moments came when he described the stages of an actor’s career:

The Five Stages of an Actor’s Career

1. Who is Actor X.
2. Get me Actor X.
3. Get me an Actor X type.
4. Get me a young Actor X.
5. Who is Actor X.

If you’re really lucky, you might make a sixth stage.

6. Hey, isn’t that that guy.

Without a doubt, the war raging in Congo since 1998 has been one of the most brutal human rights crises in history, with a death toll of higher than three million. There seems to be an uneasy peace setting in with the establishment of a multiparty parliament and free elections forseen in the next two to three years.

Rebels who had been trying to overthrow President Joseph Kabila’s government have traded their military uniforms for designer suits and their jungle barracks for corner offices with prime river views. The Congolese flag is now flying nationwide, and tentative steps have begun to merge rival armies into one.

(more…)

Hanadi Tayseer, the 27 year old Palestinian lawyer who blew herself up in a Haifa restaurant, killing 21, sat and dined with her victims before murdering them.

The discovery of the receipt for the meal in the wreckage shocked even experienced Israeli investigators who were horrified to think that, while wearing her explosive belt, she spent time eating among and watching the people she would soon murder.

After paying her bill, Jaradat indicated she was headed for the ladies restroom, left her table, went to the middle of the room and detonated her explosives.

PRINCESS DIANA claimed there was a plot to kill her in a car crash in a handwritten letter only 10 months before she died. She gave it to her butler Paul Burrell with orders that he should keep it as “insurance” for the future.

Diana and Dodi Fayed were killed in the early hours of August 31 1997 when a Mercedes S280 driven by drunken chauffeur Henri Paul careered into the Pont d’Alma tunnel in the French capital.

Back in high school, I was really into conspiracy theories, including the Clinton Body Count. While not discounting it fully, I have moved away from the “Masons control everything” worldview. Although it would seem the Left has picked it up and exchanged “Masons” for “Neoconservative Jews.” The point being that this handwritten letter from Diana, specifically outlining a car crash as her death, does go beyond the realm of pure speculation. There were other facets of this crash that gave some credibility to the conspiracy theories:

It will strike a chord among people who remain puzzled by inconsistences in her death, including questions over a mysterious white Fiat Uno which grazed the Mercedes in the tunnel and over blood samples taken from Henri Paul.

It seems as though the crazies just might be right on target.

UPDATE: [January 6, 2004] The “xxxxx” in the previous article has been revealed to be “Charles,” Lady Di’s husband.

She gave the note to butler Paul Burrell who revealed its existence in the Mirror last year. Charles’s name was blanked out. Burrell has been asked to hand the document to the coroner who today opens the inquest into Diana’s death.

Burrell said: “It has fulfilled its purpose. I wanted to give force to the argument that an inquest must be held.”

Somebody on the UK version of ebay is offering up an “Ever Ready Razor.” It’s listed as being in “Good Condition.” … If I’m going to be buying somebody else’s razor, I think I’d want it new. Thanks for the offer.

Scientists at the CERN particle physics laboratory in Switzerland sent the equivalent of a full-length DVD movie in about seven seconds.

The average transfer rate was 5.44 gigabits per second (Gbps).

First off, it’s a good thing the originators were in Switzerland, otherwise they all probably would have been jailed under the DMCA.

I’m just not sure why I can only get 3Kbps when I run emule, I feel like I’m in the dark ages. … Not that I would use it for anything illegal. I’m just trying to get tv shows that are not available by any other means. If not for the miracle of filesharing, the greatest sketch comedy ever, Upright Citizens Brigade, would go gentle into that great night.

I’m still trying to find G vs E and Brimstone - the two greatest “cop” shows ever, and Duckman - the second greatest cartoon ever (behind the Simpsons). It’s really astonishing what crap gets put on DVD, and what will die of slow deterioration in the network vaults. At least someone acknowledged before it was too late that La Femme Nikita deserved a DVD release. That is some small consolation in this terribly unjust world.

I’m sure some of you will feel the need to comment about Firefly. Go ahead, while I may not be with you in content (I have yet to see the show), I’m there in spirit.

Should I be afraid that from time to time I get this person as a visitor?

oct-16 12:16 - xx.xxx.xxx.xx - United States - Tulsa - Total Information Service

(IP Address changed to protect the guilty).

That’s right, I’m getting a visitor whose provider is Total Information Service.

It’s a good thing I’m being a good citizen and getting the word out about terrorists:

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.